Life is not easy. So many times it feels like we are walking on the edge of a cliff with no other options but to jump and hope that something will catch us. One thing after another goes wrong at … Continue reading
|I have been struggling for a while now. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for almost 17 months. Anyone who knows me knows I plan things. I am a planner. Everything in my life I have planned out. I graduated high school and went to college. I graduated college and got married. I found a job and went back to school for my masters degree. When I was coming to an end with my masters we decided to try to start a family.I won’t bore you with the details, but the gist is all of our body parts work (with the addition of one medicine for me), but we still are pregnant. This weekend was a really emotional one for me. We found out that yet again we weren’t pregnant and I just burst into tears when my husband starts his 100 questions. Did you take all of your medicine? Did we actually ovulate? What does the doctor say? Questions, questions, questions???
As I am crying, sobbing, grieving I begin to pray. No one else can understand exactly what I am feeling except God. As I am praying I hear Think about the joy you will have when My gift comes to you.
I go to my bible to complete my daily reading and read in John 3:30 “He (refering to Jesus) must become greater; I must become less.”
I have been making this all about me, my struggles, my pain, my grief, my need for a baby and in the meantime I have made myself greater than Jesus.
On Tuesday morning this week a dear friend on my prayer list sends me an email with this devotional from Dr. Charles Stanley’s which can be seen here if you are looking for the original.
If that doesn’t scream LISTEN TO ME! from the Lord, I don’t know what does. God is trying to teach me something. And in the mean time, I must wait upon the Lord.