I have been struggling for a while now. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for almost 17 months. Anyone who knows me knows I plan things. I am a planner. Everything in my life I have planned out. I graduated high school and went to college. I graduated college and got married. I found a job and went back to school for my masters degree. When I was coming to an end with my masters we decided to try to start a family.I won’t bore you with the details, but the gist is all of our body parts work (with the addition of one medicine for me), but we still are pregnant. This weekend was a really emotional one for me. We found out that yet again we weren’t pregnant and I just burst into tears when my husband starts his 100 questions. Did you take all of your medicine? Did we actually ovulate? What does the doctor say? Questions, questions, questions???
As I am crying, sobbing, grieving I begin to pray. No one else can understand exactly what I am feeling except God. As I am praying I hear Think about the joy you will have when My gift comes to you.
I go to my bible to complete my daily reading and read in John 3:30 “He (refering to Jesus) must become greater; I must become less.”
I have been making this all about me, my struggles, my pain, my grief, my need for a baby and in the meantime I have made myself greater than Jesus.
On Tuesday morning this week a dear friend on my prayer list sends me an email with this devotional from Dr. Charles Stanley’s which can be seen here if you are looking for the original.
No one likes to wait, but have you ever wondered why? It’s because delays show us that we are not in control. Someone or something else is calling the shots. Although we may be able to identify the immediate cause–like a traffic light or the long checkout line–ultimately the One who controls all our delays is the Lord. Since He is sovereign over everything in heaven and on earth, even our time and schedules are in His hands.
This means that in every delay, we are actually waiting for God in one way or another. You might have thought that the expression “waiting upon the Lord” applies only to seeking guidance from Him or an answer to prayer. But it can mean so much more when you remember that He controls all your day-to-day inconveniences and frustrations.
In the Christian life, learning to wait is vitally important because until you do, you’ll never be able to walk in obedience to God, have an effective prayer life, or experience the peace of resting in His loving sovereignty. We must learn to trust His judgment–about not just the big events in our lives, but also the trivial ones which cause us to become irritated, impatient, or even angry. If we’re sensitive to His instruction, each delay has a lesson.
The next time you face an unexpected or unwanted wait, remember that it comes as no surprise to God. He wants to teach you patience and increase your faith. He’s more interested in developing godly character than He is in making sure your schedule runs according to your plans.
If that doesn’t scream LISTEN TO ME! from the Lord, I don’t know what does. God is trying to teach me something. And in the mean time, I must wait upon the Lord.